Lately I feel a lot of negative things. I feel so stressed, burned out, and I feel like I’m losing friends. No, not because I’m turning into a bad person, but because I feel like there’s always little time for me to do everything. I can’t be “in the moment:, even if I found time to enjoy myself, I feel like I’m in a constant worry that I need to rush because time is running out and I need to do my responsibilities. I can’t sit back, enjoy nature, or read a good book while sipping my favorite smoothie on a hammock. I can’t contemplate and “take time to smell the flowers” like I used to. I can’t juggle my responsibilities properly, I can’t get it touch with people I’d like to get in touch, I don’t have enough energy to spend time with the ones I care about. I don’t have enough time and energy to do all of the things I genuinely love.
I don’t know if there’s anyone that can understand what I’m going through, but I feel exhaustion both physically and mentally with everything that I’m juggling. We don’t have a maid and I get a share of household chores. I also manage my business even when I’m in my dayjob and it can be stressful. When I get home, I have to do other business-related tasks, like packing stocks, coordinating with customers, arranging our site photos, etc.
And to add to that, there’s additional paperworks from my day job, aside from the physical exhaustion I get from working. I don’t want to complain, I really don’t. The financial provisions of my job and business helped us get through the daily burdens, but I don’t know if this is slowly taking its toll on me or if I just have to grin and bear it and get used to it.
Now excuse me while I do progress reports. And pack stocks to be delivered tomorrow. And do my quiet time. I plan to manage my time wisely starting today. Help me Lord. Give me the grace and strength to do all the tasks that I have to do.